My 3 FAVORITE
QUOTES ON 3 THINGS
"Complete the past,
create the future, and enjoy the present."
Richard Goh on WHAT SHOULD WE DO
WITH 'NOW'
"Know what matters
and what matters not, be willing to let go of what matters not, and take
action on what that matters."
~ Mei Chin (my beloved wife) on
SIMPLE STRATEGY FOR LIVING
"Be
your personal best, assume 100% responsibility for your thoughts, emotions, words and actions,
and create value for others."
~The
Fisher on HOW TO LIVE YOUR BEST
3 Things on AUTHENTICITY
Posted on 18 April,
2007
Being authentic is the fundamental key to joyful living. It means
being true to oneself as well as to others. But it isn't always easy
to be truthful, especially when we live in a society where form seems to
be favored over substance; where branding, packaging and marketing seems
to matter more than the quality of the products; where external
appearances count more than inner beauty. No wonder joy seems distant to
many who struggle to be authentic. Here are three ingredients that might
help. I call it the CHI for Authenticity - the life force that empowers
you to be who you truly are.
1. COURAGE
Being truthful
makes us vulnerable. And the fear of being hurt, being rejected or
laughed at often stops people from being truthful. It take
courage be truthful, and to act in spite of our fears. Through our
courageous actions, we breakout of the cocoon that limits us from who we
can be, and experience the level joy that we naturally deserve.
2. HONESTY
Honesty is about
confronting the truth, especially about ourselves. Being honest requires
that we acknowledge both our strengths and our shortcomings, to come to
terms with the reality, no matter how much we dislike hearing or seeing
it. We can lie to others but we cannot lie to ourselves, for we
know all the lies that we tell ourselves, the excuses we give to cover
up for our failings. Summon the courage to face the truth, and the truth
shall set you free!
3.
INTEGRITY
Integrity means being whole and complete, with no missing parts. We are
by default whole and complete, until we allow our inner world to be
disconnected with our outer world. We experience 'suffering' when
the integrity is breached. To live with integrity, we need to
consciously seek to align our thoughts, emotions, words and deeds such
that they remain congruent. In other words, to say what we mean or
feel, and do what we say. Through speaking the truth (honesty
often requires courage) and honoring our words, we preserve the
integrity of our being, and thereby return to our natural state of joy.
3 Things on JOYFUL LIVING
Posted on 16 April,
2007
1. Joy is our natural state of
being
To understand
'joy', it might be useful to first distinguish it from 'happiness'. In
this context, happiness refers to the momentary experience of a positive
emotion that typically occurs when something good happens unexpectedly.
In other words, happiness is something that happens to us, such as
getting a raise, receiving a positive feedback from a satisfied client,
or receiving a call from a long lost friend. Happiness is the effect
from an external cause that is beyond our control.
In contrast, we
approach joy as the enduring state of being that we are in, typically
accompanied by peace of mind. It is a mind-body state that we experience
without any external cause, much like what meditation leads us to.
The closest association with happiness, would be to consider joy as
'being happy without a reason.' Joy is uncaused, and therefore,
can be considered our 'natural' state, the original condition when we
are being our 'natural' self - the authentic self.
To experience joy,
we don't have to achieve anything, other then to return to being
authentic, being who we are, and expressing ourselves freely. It
this no wonder that young children are often masters at being joyful.
I draw my inspiration from our youngest son, Dylan (featured in photo
above), who consistently springs out of bed in joy without fail every
morning, and then hops into ours. What a joy to wake up to his
usual mischievous grin!
2. Joy is experienced in the
absence of suffering
If joy is our
natural state of being, then why aren't we joyful all the time? What's
stopping people from experiencing joy? The answer is
SUFFERING. Unlike
pain, which refers to physical discomfort such as a toothache, by
'suffering' I am referring to the condition of the mind. For
example, anxiety, anger or frustration are sufferings.
Joy is
always present, for we, are the source of joy. However, joy can only be
experienced in the absence of suffering. An extreme degree of joy is
BLISS, as exemplified by state of Nirvana in which one is totally liberated from the sufferings of human
existence, being in the presence of the Holy Spirit, or being 'one' with the Universe.
3. Suffering is optional
Now,
back to our human existence ... how do we transcend our sufferings to
experience joy more frequently in our daily life?
To do that, we
first need to recognize that suffering is indeed optional, although pain
is inevitable. For example, I will definitely feel pain in my foot
when I accidentally kick a brick on the street, but certainly I don't
have to feel angry either with myself for not paying attention or with
the 'culprit' who left it on the walkway. The degree to which
'suffering is optional' really depends on our level of
AWARENESS of the CHOICES available to us.
3 Things
on FREEDOM FROM SUFFERINGS
Posted on 16 April,
2007
1.
Letting Go of the PAST
Q:
"What do we need to let go of?"
A:
"Whatever that you're hanging onto."
Contrary
to the popular belief that desire is the cause for suffering, I would
like to invite you to consider that the root cause of sufferings is NOT
desire itself, but the ATTACHMENT to desire. Letting go is about
releasing oneself from what one is attached to.
Some of
us are attached to our loved ones, others to their handphones, social
status, favorite CD's or even opinions. We 'suffer' when the
object of our attachment is either lost or at risk of losing. By
far, the one thing that we are most attached to, and most difficult to
let go of, and causes probably the majority of our sufferings, is our
EGO - the image we hold of ourselves and wish to project to others.
Being
detached from our EGO leads us back to our authentic self, and
consequently allows us to return to our natural state of joy. From that
space of being, we are not held prisoners by the usual egoistic needs.
Examples include:
-
Letting go of the need to be right
-
Letting go of the need to be accepted by others
-
Letting go of the need to dominate others
-
Letting go of the need to get even
Letting
go of the above often results in releasing oneself from emotions that
are rooted in events in the past, such as anger, resentment, and regret.
Freedom from the past allows us to truly focus on creating our desirable
future through our actions in the present.
2. Live in the
PRESENT
Much has
been written about living in the present. For a deeper exploration, read
The Power of NOW by Eckhart Tolle. In essence, the PRESENT MOMENT is the
only space in which our lives are taking place. Consider
this ...
As the
story of your life unfolds, the present is the blank page that you are
currently looking at and experiencing. You are the author of your
book, which you're writing one page at a time. Whatever you put on
it, creates a part of your life experience, and shapes the direction of
the plot for subsequent pages. When you are done, as you flip over to
the next page, a new page is made available to you, while the previous
page becomes part of your past. As you move from page to page,
life shows up to you from moment to moment, until you reach the end of
your story.
To live
in the present moment is to be fully present to where you are being,
what you are thinking and feeling, what you are doing, and who you are
relating with RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW. It's as simple as that. It's really
difficult to suffer when you allow yourself to be fully immersed with
the present.
3. Create the
FUTURE
A common source of
suffering is anxiety about the future. Anxiety may manifest at
various levels of intensity, from a mild discomfort to a full blown
panic attack. Anxiety is often rooted in FEAR - fear of the unknown,
fear of pain, fear of embarrassment, fear of not being able to deal with
what we expect to face, etc,.
The future need
not turn out the way we fear. The best way to be certain of the future
is to create it. And creation takes place in the present, through
what we think, what we say and what we do. As human beings, we're born
with the innate ability to create. The act of creating brings us
back to what we are naturally born to do, and through the process, we
bring forth our creations as our unique contributions to the world.
Note:
Co-incidentally, this fits in nicely with Richard's 3 Things on WHAT
SHOULD WE DO WITH 'NOW'
3 Things on JOY AT WORK
Posted on 14 April, 2007
As working adults, we
typically spent more than half of our wakeful hours at work, commuting to
and from the workplace, and thinking about work. At times, we even dream
about work. To not experience joy at work would be deny ourselves tremendous
opportunities for living joyfully.
According to Khalil
Gibran, author of The Prophet, "Work is love made visible." Now, here
are three things you might wish to consider to manifest more love in your
life:
1. Change your
outlook on LIFE
Are you a
pessimist or an optimist? Face it, optimists are generally happier
people, no matter what work they perform. If you're a pessimist, the
good news is that optimism can be learned. But you do need to be
willing to let go of the old way of thinking, and try on some new
perspectives. Reality is a matter of perception, and perception is a
matter of perspectives.
Consider this: How
would all your complaints about work look like from the perspective of
your boss, your client or your colleague?
2. Examine what
'work' truly means to you
Is work merely a
job through which you exchange your time and energy with money? Is it a
career that supports your long term development and growth? Is it a
vocation which allows you to make a contribution through your unique
gifts and experiences? Or is it all of the above?
The meanings you
associate with work determines how you experience it. Examine what it
means to you, then seek to reassess your expectations around it and see
how work shows up for you differently!
3. Express your
highest values
We are born with
freewill and will is essentially the ability to choose. Our ability to
create joyful experiences at work lies in the conscious choices
we make on actions that align our personal values with that of the
organization. We are naturally driven to address the things that matter
most to us. Failing to express our highest values at work puts us in
constant conflict, preventing us from channeling our full attention and
energy to perform our work at our best. So, whatever you do at work, use
that as an opportunity to address your highest concerns each day.
3 Things
on PURPOSE OF LIFE
Posted on 10 April,
2007
What
on earth are you here for? What is your purpose of life? Are you
still seeking the meaning of life? Are you still waiting to be 'called'?
Are you still attempting to unravel one of the greatest mysteries of human
existence?
I haven't got the
answer for you, but here are some clues that LIFE has thrown to me so
far...
1. The answer is
not out there, but within you
2. You don't
discover it through conscious 'soul seeking'
3. It
finds you when you ... (see
GPS)
3 Things
on GPS: THE INNER COMPASS
Posted on 10 April,
2007 
Source: Inspired by
a conversation with Richard Goh, a good friend of mine.
Some say, "The purpose
of life is a life of purpose." What do you think?
I think it's pretty
futile to spend one's life searching for the 'answer'. We get a lot more
mileage from channeling our time and energy to the following:
1. Our Unique GIFTS
2. Our PASSION
3. SERVICE
Putting them together: it means to contribute to the well-being of humanity through
acts of SERVICE by using your unique GIFTS in your areas of PASSION. Wherever you are in your journey through life, I
hope the
GPS
can help you navigate through a life of
purpose, like an inner compass that never fails.
3 Things
on MASTERING
THE ART OF
JOYFUL LIVING
Posted on 8 April, 2007
Source: Taken from
JOY101™, a course on the Art of Joyful Living.
Here are three
fundamental areas that one needs to 'master' in order to truly be the
creative force of joy, meanings and fulfillment in one's life:
1.
Self-Leadership
Self-leadership
essentially means taking charge of our own lives, being the captain of
our own ships, or being the author of our life stories. The
fundamental key to self-leadership is to take full responsibility for
what we experience in our inner world through our thoughts and emotions,
and how we interact with the outer world through our words and actions.
With responsibility, comes the inner power to make choices and decisions
that shape our destiny.
2. Relationship
Mastery
Human beings are
social beings. We don't live in isolation, but in contact with other
human beings. To some extent, it is through our relationship with others
that make us 'human'. The quality of our lives is largely determined by
the quality of our relationships, especially with the people we care
deeply about.
The heart of
relationship mastery lies in communication. Loving intention is
not good enough. What matters more is how we effective we are in
making our loved ones feel loved. How well do we really listen to them?
How truthful have we been with one another? How well do we respect each
other's opinions? The bottom line is: DO THEY FEEL LOVED IN OUR
PRESENCE?
3. The Art of
Creating
What on earth are
we here for? I think part of that is to CREATE. We're constantly
creating ... in what we do from moment to moment. Through our
thoughts, we create experience. Through our words, we create
conversations. Through our deeds, we create new physical realities, be
it in writing an MS Word document, making a cup of coffee, or building
an Olympic stadium.
Creating is the
process of bringing into being, an idea, thought or concept in the mind.
It's about translating a vision into physical reality. It's about making
things happen. A large part of the joy of living lies in the joy
of creating. How then can we afford not to master the
art of creating?
3 Things
on CREATING
Posted on 7 April, 2007
After several years of
experimentation with different approaches to creating, countless trials
and errors, and some successes to learn from, I have discovered that the
ORDER of what we think about throughout the process of creating matters a
great deal. Here's what I find particularly useful:
1. What?
Begin with the end
in mind. Start with your intention. Get clear about what exactly
that you want to create, before jumping ahead to worry about how to make
it happen. Fast forward into the future and visualize the outcome. What
is it like? What do you see and hear when that happens? What does that
give you? How does it make you feel? Do you like what you experience?
Would you accept it when it's realized?
2. Why?
As Frederick Nietzsche once said, "He who has a strong enough why can
bear almost any how." A compelling reason can give you strength to do
whatever it takes to make things happen. Why is that important to you? How does it
address your highest concerns?
3. How?
Figuring how to go
about creating the results you want is the last thing to be concerned
with in the process of creating. If you really want something and have a
compelling reason to have it, the 'how' is just a matter of
implementation. Start from the end, and work backwards to identify what
needs to happen between where you want to be and where you are now;
Explore the alternative routes that you could take to bridge the gap
between the desired future and the current reality. Choose the route you
wish to embark on, and then begin with the first immediate goal, zooming
into the first task you need to do to achieve that goal, the step to get
that task going, and go DO IT!
"Whatever you can do
or dream you can, BEGIN IT. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
"
~ As Johnann Wolfgang
von Goethe
3 Things
on
LIVING
Posted on 5 April, 2007
Source: Creative
Visualization, by Shakti Gawain
What
makes the experience of 'living'? Let me share with you what Shakti Gawain
says about the three aspects of living:
1. Being
Being is the basic
experience of being alive and conscious. It is the experience we
have when we're fully focused in the present moment, the experience of
being totally complete and at rest within ourselves.
2. Doing
Doing is the
movement and activity. It stems from the natural creative energy
that flows through every living thing and is the source of our vitality.
3. Having
Having is the
state of being in relationship with other people and things in the
universe. It is the ability to allow and accept things and people
into our lives; to comfortably occupy the same space with them.
Often people attempt to live their lives backward: they try to HAVE more
things, or more money, in order to DO more of what they want, so that
they will BE happier.
The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first BE who
you really are, then DO what you need to do, in order to HAVE what you
want.
3 Things
on
INTENTION
Posted on 5 April, 2007
Source: Creative
Visualization, by Shakti Gawain
In
Creative Visualization, author Shakti Gawain defines Intention
as the sum of the following:
1. Desire
You must have a
true desire to have or create that which you have chosen to visualize.
Ask yourself:
"Do I truly, in my
heart, DESIRE this goal to be realized?"
2.
Belief
The more you
belief in your chosen goal and the possibility of attaining it, the more
certain you will be to do so. Ask yourself:
"Do I BELIEVE
that it is possible for me to realize or attain it?"
3. Acceptance
You must be
willing to accept and have that which you are seeking. Sometimes we
pursue goals without actually wanting to attain them. We are more
comfortable with the process of pursuing. Ask yourself:
"Am I really completely willing to HAVE
this?"
In
short, you know you've got a strong intention to create something when you
deeply desire it, you completely believe that you can do it, and you are
totally willing to have it!
3 + 3
Things on GETTING THE BEST OUT OF LIFE
Posted on 1 April, 2007
Source: Extracted from an SMS from my
brother, Kelly
I asked God, "How do
I get the best out of life ...?"
God answered:
1. Face your PAST
without regret.
2. Handle your
PRESENT with confidence.
3. Prepare for the FUTURE without fear.
Then he added:
1. Keep the faith and
drop the fear.
2. Don't believe your
doubts and never doubt your beliefs.
3. Life is wonderful
if you know how to live.
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Authenticity
Joyful Living
Freedom for Sufferings
Joy at Work
Purpose of Life
GPS: The Inner Compass
Mastering the Art of
Joyful Living
Creating
The Experience of
Living
Intention
Getting the Best out of
Life
NOTE:
If you wish to share some
of the 3 things that you have either thought about, discovered or
collected, I look forward to hear your contribution (EMAIL
ME).
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